Momentum

Okay.
So, I've been watching Kevin Cooney's Life in Tokyo basically all day..
And it's absolutely awesome, I'm so happy I found his site!
That's definitely motivation.. For so many reasons.. I can't even explain all of them.
I decided to blog because well, Patrick took a xanax and passed the f out.
He's a lightweight when it comes to those, and I told him he was gonna go to sleep,
but no, he always knows im right.. But he's just silly and stubborn.
We actually had a great night together though,
we watched Akira, which was our very very first anime we ever watched together years ago--
That basically started our huge anime binge.
So it was adorable to watch again together.
I'm so happy that we haven't used needles in two days, it gives me so much hope for the future and I just cannot wait to pick up where I left off..
Success!
More so, overcoming one of the biggest kinds of addictions in the world.
This is something that I have been waiting for, pretty much for a long time.
I promised Patrick I will start going to his house when my arms are healed.
I can't even go to my fathers house knowing im hiding something,
so it's even worse with his family..
Cause they're just amazing. And I love them very much.

Uh, I don't know.
It'll be hard because I'm in withdrawal and I'm fighting very very hard, and I have to keep my head up.
Otherwise I will keep going backwards,
and that's never ever what I wanted to do.
I was questioned about God last night.. By a very special person..
And all I can say about that is well,
He gives you the tools to do right.
And it's not Him that makes you do wrong,
it simply isn't.
So never question Him.
He's not "magical".
He does however work in very mysterious ways that's for sure..
I thank him everyday for what I've been given.
And I don't think without his guidance I would be here today.
So to that person,
It isn't He who sticks that needle in your arm..

I'm so thankful for so many things, and people.
Why am I doing this to myself.
I wasn't born to do this,
I was born for much greater things.
And God It feels so good to FINALLY realize that,
after so long of feeling nothing at all.

It's not the xanax talking.
It's me, knowing exactly what I need to do to get back to what I used to be.
And go much farther.

I still have animosity towards somebody..
And anger.
And pain.
And regret.
All I can do is pray for it to subside.
Everybody makes mistakes..
They do.
Everyone is human..
I've made mistakes I can't even speak of it hurts too much..
But nothing can compare to what I have been through.

Today is a new day, a new year, a new everything.
I'm grateful that we all get new chances, to do better, to heal..
and that's what I look forward to.
I have the love of my life back.
The one I can share my world with, every single interest, every moment, every day, it's a blessing.
I know it's been tough.. Very.
But everything happens for a reason..
And when everything seems impossible,
He just manages to make it possible,
I know I love him way way way too much.
But, every time he tells me about the rest of our lives,
I feel like my world is back together, somehow.
Everything makes sense.
That is the most important thing of all.
Thank Goodness.

For a closing statement,
Taffy is bomb.
愛

Mad (Trance Remix) [iB] - Ne-Yo