The MASSIVE come down.

“I told you I'd never say goodbye.

Now I'm slipping on the tears you've made me cry.

Why does it come as a surprise?

To think that I was so naive.

Maybe it didn't mean so much,

But it meant everything to me."

So idk, I made a private post yesteday because its very embarrassing the way my life has been.
It's shameful and depressing and it makes me hate myself. Oh, and I finally made it to my dad's.

Questions for the night:
Why does life suck so bad?
Why do I exist?
Why did shit end up this way?
Why am I so fucking confused?
Why is it that I've turned into someone I hate?
Why do I feel like I'm not where I'm suppose to be?
And..
WHY DON'T I HAVE A FUCKING WARLOCK SO I CAN FUCKING FEEL THAT FUCKING RUSH AND ADRENALINE OF MAKING A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING INANIMATE OBJECT SOUND SO MOTHER FUCKING BAD ASS???
Maybe coping would be different.

Guess I'm always wanting something I can never have, right?

In a room full of ugliness..

"I took care of you.
NOW YOU DON'T FUCKING TAKE CARE OF ME."

so, i cant get a hold of my dad-- and that's very bad.

i figured out, that i need to get my guitar and violin back at my mom's house, or move back to dads, don't got a clue.
and, i need another guitar, i need two.
i need to get this shit together.
I'm pretty pissed about a lot of things.
idk.

Ive been listening to nin religiously like i used to, its so therapeutic.
when i was younger life was so simple.
gettin stoned+great below=pwn.
but i don't smoke pot anymore,
but it made life seem so simple..
i hate waking up feeling dead.
its quite depressing.
I'd do anything to be simple again..
i need to find a way.

when i have children they're gonna be little metal heads.
with all the love in this world,
rockin heavy fuckin metal.
and playing instruments, skateboarding, and everything i wanted to do when i was little but was not allowed to.
they'll be lovin there lives.